An Increase in Joy

We all go through dark periods in our lives, times where our emotions overcome us and we sink into a seemingly bottomless pit of pain and apathy and darkness. In times like this, we think joy is just a fad for those who live fortunate lives, or deny the pain in their lives and live in ignorance. But, deep down, I think we all know that joy is something innate and compassionate; sometimes it feels safer to dwell in the soft darkness of pain.

Some people I know personally are aware that I've been struggled through a lot of things that have come up from my past, which has triggered large amounts of pain. I've also been suffering a chronic pain condition, frustration at my medical care and how I'm not getting responses from my doctor, and severe fatigue that has been disabling.

I'm so grateful for my dedication to both my spiritual journey and my health, since this allowed me to design a routine incorporating what I really needed to do to keep myself together. I was depressed, in pain (physical and emotional) and dealing with some severe past trauma. I had been trying to work through it in the few and far between free moments last semester, but the time was tight and I was never able to be dedicated to it as much as I really needed.

This summer, I began to implement a routine of a hot bath, where I would read a book (since one of the things I had been craving was to enhance my knowledge on spiritual subjects and pick up the books I hadn't touched since buying them). Then, I'd do a short chakra meditation as the water drained, followed by 15-30 minutes of yoga, and 20 minutes of a Reiki self-treatment. I needed this to manage the pain. I trusted my inner guide when designing this routine.

The hot bath, yoga, and Reiki made the physical pain palatable...probably dropping it on a pain scale from an average of 7 to an average of 4. Yet, with chronic pain, it was still difficult to handle all of my emotions, frustrations, and fears from my past that would constantly arise.

I stayed with this routine, each day making time for 2 hours of healing. Sometimes I was reluctant, sometimes I wasn't all that focused, but I kept going. I knew I needed it, and I knew it would cause me so much pain to neglect the healing routine. I also knew this routine was healing me in a way deeper than just talking about my emotions or other forms of physical pain management; it was healing me from the inside out. I had been working for months to heal myself, but I needed a daily routine, and I could feel that. Some constant to build a foundation upon.

It's been right around three weeks of this routine. Over 40 hours of healing. And the effects are amazing. It started with, in the first week, glimpses of stillness and peace, maybe a little happiness. Now the passion for life I have is incredible. I have opened, I have grown in the most subtle and powerful ways.

There is now this spring of joy and compassion. A complete awareness and empathy to the earth and all the people I interact with. A love for walking outside, a craving to get out in nature. A sensitivity to energy that goes beyond what I even thought was possible. A totally free springing well of emotions, accepting each as it arises with as much compassion as I have in me.

Just yesterday, I was researching a newfound passion of aromatherapy and essential oils, trying to figure out which brand would work the best for myself and others. I did a lot of searching, and when I stumbled upon Native American Nutritionals' website, I got goosebumps. I teared up. I could vividly sense the purity in the energy of the oils, without even holding one in my hand. It was shocking and amazing, to feel such a sensitivity to something I was only interacting with through my computer. This alignment and sensitivity I think would be impossible for me if I hadn't been working so hard to keep with a daily routine that was slowly and deeply healing (and awakening) me.

It's been a journey, and it's taken dedication, but I just want to say to everyone that it is possible to heal. You don't have to spend 2 hours each day like me, you might be able to spend 10 minutes and have joyous results in 2 weeks. It's all about the routine and the understanding that you can dedicate time towards your healing. Time purely meant for you. Time meant for healing and evolution.

The space for healing is so important. It's this space, I believe, which begins to open an all consuming spring of joy.

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Book Review: "Vibrational Healing" by Jaya Jaya Myra

With a new habit I've formed of reading in the bath, daily, I've been making my way through books about spirituality and really enhancing my repertoire of knowledge. I'm hoping that, in sharing my opinions about the books I read, you'll have a better understanding of which books to select for your own spiritual reference library.

Review of "Vibrational Healing:"

Vibrational Healing is definitely a book meant for those serious for pursuing a path in energy healing, specifically when working with the subtle body energy. Despite being best for those serious about this form of energy work, it's incredibly easy to read and very insightful for those with even a small interest in subtle body energy work. I have been doing energy healing for around 4 years, and I still learned a lot from this book, but I also feel that a "beginner" in a spiritual healing practice could glean much as well.

This book is primarily about its title: vibrational healing. All matter, including the body, and all spiritual energy, like the subtle body, vibrate at specific frequencies. Myra explains that illness, disease, and stress often arise from imbalances in the vibrational frequencies of our bodies and spirits. Although this sounds very esoteric in summary, Myra goes in-depth in explaining just what she means and how it applies in both a spiritual and basic scientific sense. She also talks about how Western and Eastern medicinal techniques are best used in conjunction, and explains in a very logical manner why her belief is such. Her passion for mantra and sound-based healing (which has incredible vibrational healing properties: sound is vibration, after all) is obvious in this book, so for someone with a passion as such, I'd highly recommend it.

She talks about three basic subtle energy ideas: the chakras, gunas/temperaments, and the elements; and how to use these to heal and align yourself with your dharma (or life's purpose). There are small "quizzes" to help you digest the concepts into a practical application towards yourself, which you later use to understand what you are naturally inclined to react like, interpret like, and exist like, based on your temperamental and elemental inclinations. When doing this for myself, I found it to be incredibly insightful! I learned much about how I think, in a way that isn't just like a Meyer-Briggs personality test, but went deeper into my spiritual core. Through the self-reflection, I was able to realize new techniques of how to heal myself and others (as well as learning over 10 meditation techniques in the last chapter of the book).

Myra drills in many important ideas throughout this book. When talking about doing crystal work, specifically when placing a crystal in water to charge it with a certain vibration, she is conscious of the risks of not researching which stones can safely be placed in water to later be consumed. She urges all those to research before just picking a stone and intuitively placing it into water. Myra also discusses the less severe risks behind mantras and affirmations, like how affirmations can make you feel worse if you speak to something that you were unable to accomplish and that mantras--depending on the spiritual vibration of the chant--can overwhelm your subtle body and heal you in a jolting, less effective, way. She does a wonderful job instructing how to go about using these techniques in a safe and enriching way.

Throughout Vibrational Healing, Myra talks about many techniques for spiritual evolution, like visualization, meditation techniques, mantras, affirmations, color, chakras, sound, light (solar and lunar healing), aromatherapy, crystal healing, water healing, herbal healing, and self-actualization. Although the book does not go into depth on any of the concepts, it explains enough to help us understand which we feel the most drawn towards, or which will benefit us the most based on our temperamental or elemental affinity.

The structure makes it insightful and easy to digest, and Myra also has a beautiful personal story at the beginning. Her humility is apparent (which is something I haven't always found in spiritual authors), so it sets the book off in a wonderful tone. There is also a discussion in the end about becoming a spiritual healer of others, and the content of the book helps you to realize other's elemental affinities to grow your understanding of how to heal them, spiritually or just as a friend giving advice. I felt incredibly more evolved and aware after reading this book, and it's on my list of the top spiritual books I've read.

Cost: $15.99 US/$18.50 CAN
Number of Pages: 227
Publisher: Llewellyn Books

Mindful Showering and Self-Love

I start every day with a shower, always. It could be my body, or just in my mind, but I always feel a little grimy after sleeping, and I want to start my day with the freshness I can only find in a shower. Showering itself can be a very cleansing process, for both the body and one's subtle energy, and it's also possible to foster extensive self love in the shower.

Self-love is so incredibly important to foster. It allows for a growth in confidence and self esteem and it starts increasing our ability to experience love and (when fostered enough) unconditional love for those around us and our life situations. Energetically, it empowers us to heal ourselves and others, to let compassion spring forward, to dive deeper into our faith or spiritual practice, and to feel content when understanding who we are and what we can accomplish in life.

Despite its necessity, self-love can be tricky, especially when we're experience the vulnerable state of nudity like we do in the shower. We are in our most bare state, and unlike when we are just dressing or undressing, we have to actually interact with every part of our body in the shower. With a society that teaches that one singular body type means "beauty," the majority of us feel left out when we experience our naked body. It's not an easy thing to teach ourselves to recognize our own innate beauty, but it oh so important.

When we become more confident in our body image, so many positive things happen. We feel that we have more control over our bodies (which means that, if struggling with weight that we want to change*, we can do so--under or overweight), we understand that we are all beautiful at whatever size and shape we embody, we are more grounded into our body (we don't try to dissociate and escape this sacred physical form we are in), and our general self-esteem and confidence increases.

While dealing with gender dysphoria, loving my body became an incredibly important concern. I did not have the body type I wanted, or am "supposed" to have as a man. Yet, I did have this body. I couldn't change my body overnight in any way, so I had to work towards self-love and acceptance instead.

Showers became incredibly important. Besides just cleaning me and waking me up each morning, it was a time to foster this much needed self-love, in a way that's easy for anyone to foster.

I highly suggest lathering the soap onto your hands, instead of a loofah or washcloth, so you can more directly interact with your body. I personally wash myself from the top down, but wash yourself whichever way works best for you. The important part of this mindful showering practice is to focus on what it feels like to wash your body.

There are so many interesting textures to our skin, so many interesting directions that our hands move when they go from the boney to the muscular to the fatty parts of our figure. Each section is totally vital to our well being, and is a part of ourselves. Paying attention to both sensation and sending love through the act of washing yourself creates a dynamic of mindfulness and compassion, two important characteristic for anyone with a spiritual practice. The only thing to do with this mindfulness practice is to slow down and love what it feels like to wash your body, love what it feels like to become clean.

Sometimes, if it isn't distressing, it can be very positive to spend extra time caressing the parts of your body you struggle to love--maybe these are wrinkles, scars, moles, even amputated limbs. Just make sure, when focusing here, that it fosters love, not a negative emotion. Sometimes we aren't ready to face a certain part of ourselves and just accept it, so then just focus on the self-love towards the rest of your body, it will allow you to grow total acceptance over time.

The energy of the element of water itself is an incredible healing force, hence why we crave hot showers and baths to calm ourselves when we're stressed or emotional. Water corresponds to the second, sacral, chakra, and is one of the most adaptable elements. Think of how water always fills whatever container it is placed in. Water, when you focus on using the element for emotional and spiritual healing, can teach you to flow in any circumstance, no matter how confining it seems. Water can also wash away negative thoughts and energies, and the act of washing increases this intention too.

For our temperaments and personality, water allows us to flow, change, and grow. The natural water of a shower can help love flow around us, especially when we make a conscious effort to intend that the act of showering is meant for self love. The energy of water will only enhance and empower our intention.

I always notice, when I remember to spend a little extra time in the shower focusing on this practice, I come out feeling much more refreshed, beautiful, and confident. Water and love are powerful tools for healing.


*Note: With fat-shaming being a current discussion, I wanted to address this sentence more in depth. I don't personally believe anyone has to change their weight or appearance in any way, though I do advocate health. Weight can cause health issues (if "under" or "overweight"), and this is often important to address, but it is completely the individual's choice whether or not to address this at all. I will always respect that choice and recognize a beauty in anyone at any weight or with any appearance. 

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What I Learned from the Tree Pose Today

Today I was practicing yoga, finally getting back into some more intense and personal meditation. It was much needed. First, I spent some time bathing, relaxing my muscles and reading a book about vibration healing, following with 30 minutes of yoga, and then 30 minutes of a Reiki self healing.

After my bath, as the water was slowly flowing into the drain, I sat in the tub and worked with each chakra for a simple 5 breaths. My root chakra is particularly blocked at the moment, and I could feel hesitation there and at my solar plexus as I did this short meditation. I could also feel very little energy flow on my right, masculine, side. The tree pose--a perfect left/right balancing position--was something I instantly knew to incorporate into my daily yoga practice.

As I later shifted my weight to move into the first part of the pose, I gazed out at the tall trees I could see from my apartment balcony. I'm blessed with a beautiful and sacred view, so it was incredibly easy to connect with the natural inspiration for this pose. I came into the pose, "grew my branches," and then felt how incredibly unsteady I was.

I almost lost the pose, fell out of it. That would have been fine, falling in and out of poses is a natural part of yoga, but it seemed like the universe wanted me to almost fall out of it. The lesson I had to learn was in the wobble, not the fall.

I instinctively shifted the weight in my foot to prevent a fall, but I had overcompensated. I stayed calm, this time, instead of feeling the movement throw my psyche off balance too. Because I was (finally) mentally centered, my experience with attempting to balance in the tree pose taught me something phenomenal.

I learned, for the first time, to sway. That simple but complex message was so important for me to learn.

As I've been trying to ground myself and become sturdy with root chakra work, I was losing my connection with flexibility. Not that of the muscles, but with that of life's happenings. Until I was swaying, I didn't realize this.

I allowed myself to teeter, consciously and subconsciously, on both sides of the pose, amazed at how much my body wanted to move around as soon as I gave up trying to stay rigid and straight. It felt more still to move than it did to attempt to keep a frigid pose.

Trees have incredibly stable roots even when they sway. Sometimes just the thin and light branches move, and sometimes the whole trunk bends with gusts of wind. The trees, at least those which are healthy and not overcome with nature, flow with the wind; they don't fight the natural current around them. Movement is a vital part of life; trees don't attempt to predict the wind, they just allow nature and happenings to move them. They sway.

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Food For Your Chakras: Citrus Mint Salad

Heal your root, sacral, heart, and third eye chakras with this easy recipe! Serves around 6-8 portions.

Citrus Mint Salad-adapted from a recipe by Valerie Winebrenner

The Recipe:

1. Wash 1 pint of raspberries and 1 pint of blueberries under cold water. Wash and cut 1 lb of strawberries. Peel 2 oranges and remove the pith (and membranes from the flesh of the fruit, if possible). Add all of these to a large mixing bowl.
2. Zest 1 lemon and 1 lime, add this into a smaller bowl you have.
3. In the smaller bowl, combine 3 T of Honey, 1 T of lemon juice, 1 T of lime juice, 2 T of orange juice and 1 T of freshly chopped mint to the lemon and lime zest.
4. Whisk the contents of the smaller bowl to make the dressing, then pour this over the fruit in the larger bowl. Toss the fruit, being careful not to crush the delicate raspberries.
5. Garnish with more mint or coconut if you wish. 

The Energetic Benefits:

• Foods that heal and restore the root chakra: strawberries, raspberries
• Foods that heal and restore the sacral chakra: strawberries, oranges, lemon, orange juice, lemon juice, honey
• Foods that heal and restore the heart chakra: mint, lime, lime juice
• Foods that heal and restore the third eye chakra: blueberries

To boost the energetic effects, spend a moment meditating to create a flow of white light coming out of your hands. Place your hands around the bowl of prepared food and imagine the white light swirling throughout it and cleansing it for around a minute. 

Enjoy~

My personal notes and thoughts: I loved this recipe, it was extremely sweet but bursted with healthy, natural sugars and flavors. I could feel the sensual fruit, perfect for healing and awakening the sacral, moving directly towards my lower chakras, as well as this sweet uplifting taste of mint. This was absolutely delicious, and I had it for both a dinner and breakfast! Fruit can be a little expensive, so this might be a recipe you want to budget for, but it was definitely worth it. A really delicious treat for your sacral energy, and the perfect meal for summer. 

The Sacral Chakra: An Overview

The Sacral Chakra is the second chakra in the seven body chakra system. It is located between the genitals and belly button, usually around 3 finger widths beneath the navel. This is the energy center that connects with your emotions and the sensual side of sexuality, as well as with femininity. The sacral chakra has many qualities and traits to it, so I'll be breaking this post up into easy to read sections.

General Characteristics: 
The Sacral Chakra is the second chakra in our subtle energy bodies. Through this energy center, we experience pleasure, emotional intimacy, and some forms of love and physical intimacy. This chakra, like the three lower chakras (root, sacral, solar plexus) connect us to our physical body and governs a state of physical will. Our physicality, and the energetic presence of such in this chakra, allows us to connect to the desires that our body has and our reproductive abilities. Through our body and the sacral, we channel our creative urges and allow ourselves to fully unfold our creative potential. This chakra is the second chakra, so both this and the root chakra must be healed to allow energy to travel up the spine. It has the capability to fully support your sexuality and creative and sexual expression, so it is ultimately important for all relationships to heal this chakra. Even in asexual identities, this chakras allows for the expression of personal comfort, intimacy with one's own emotions and other people (platonic or romantic), and comfort with one's sexuality (including asexuality). The sacral chakra allows us all to be passionate beings.

"Swadhistana" is the Sanskrit word for the sacral chakra. According to this source it means "the dwelling place of the self." The sacral is the source of all of our expression, and inspires the ways the chakras above it help us to express ourselves. The sacral chakra is beginning of our passion and drive to live, past the primordial needs the root chakra inspires us to seek.

A summary of traits related to this chakra are: sexuality, sensuality, creativity, self expression, womb, motherhood/parenthood, femininity, composition, giving, nurturing, enthusiasm, vitality, healing.

The sacral chakra develops usually in late childhood, when puberty is just about to begin and we all start to really understand ourselves as individuals existing the world, with wants, desires, and passions. Normally, by age 8-12, the sacral chakra is fully developed and active.

Elemental Connection:
Water

Color:
Orange

Physical Places it Governs: 

• Reproductive organs (also governed in part by the root chakra)
• Uterus, specifically
• Sacrum of the back
• Kidneys, urinary tract
• Aldosterone hormone production

Stones Associated to it:
Stones can be used for healing a chakra, often by meditating while holding or placing the stone/crystal above the chakra. It is often best to keep the stones wrapped in a colored cloth (silk if you can get it) that corresponds to the chakra color of the stone. For instance, keep these stones wrapped in orange silk or fabric. It tends to keep their energy less tainted and swaddles them for a little bit of compassion. It's also important to cleanse the crystal before using it. The short version would be to imagine white light around your hands and hold the crystal for a few minutes while the light swirls around it, but I'll go more in depth on crystal meditations in a later post. You can also wash the stone under warm water for a minute.

The more care and attention you put into the subtle details of energy work will never harm you or your practice. 

Here are some stones associated with the Sacral chakra and how they affect the chakra: 

• Citrine (activating)
• Fire opal (awakening, opening, activating)
• Carnelian (stabilizing, opening)
• Orange Calcite (opening)
• Yellow Topaz (Balancing, calming)
• Emerald (calming)
• Moonstone (Balancing)
• Aquamarine (Balancing, calming)

Scents and Foods Associated to it:

• Oranges
• Lemons
• Nectarines
• Peaches
• Strawberries
• Cherries
• Sugar
• Walnuts
• Carrots
• Orange Bell Peppers
• Pumpkin
• Sweet Potato
• Apricots
• Cantaloupes
• Mangoes
• Papaya
• Passion Fruit
• Salmon

Scents:

• Jasmine
• Bay Laurel
• Rosemary
• Rosewood
• Rose Absolute
• Sandalwood
• Neroli
• Cardamon

Things that can Negatively Affect This Chakra:

The universe throws a lot of things at us, sometimes really severe things. Our chakras are sensitive, so they are easily affected. When affected, they can really stop us from fully realizing the joy of being, but often we cannot control everything that happens to us. This is just an explanation of what could have caused sacral chakra issues, so that your awareness can be expanded and you can begin a journey towards healing.

Severe or Longterm:

• Sexual abuse: You reject your body or sexuality, or you feel like sexuality is unsafe. Sometimes don't experience sex with any sort of positive emotion, destroying the intimate emotional energy the sacral chakra thrives on.
• Feeling unsafe or rejecting emotional or sexual relationships: (Not necessarily more than platonic, but what you identify with wanting). This insecurity causes any passion in emotional relations or sex to be blocked as it rises from the root chakra to the sacral chakra.
• Dissociation: Rejection and unawareness of emotions for a long period of time can damage this chakra, or can be caused from damage from this chakra. 

Milder, More Common, Self-induced:

• Volatile emotions, especially stress induced: Uncontrolled energy, usually caused from the not paying attention to your natural emotions.
• Lust: Overactive chakra, seeking too much sexual release.
• Addiction to sex, pornography, or masturbation: Also seeking too much sexual release, over-expending energy.
• Intentionally getting into unsafe relationships: Consciously ruining stability, especially if it's an egoic call for attention by intentionally getting hurt (Granted, unsafe relationships that you are in are not always in your control, this isn't speaking about that type).
• Inability to swim/fear of water: The sacral chakra is water oriented, so rejecting this element can harm the chakra
• Embarrassment during sex: Rejection of natural bodily sounds, smells, and sensations. This rejection leads the energetic rejection as well. 
• Emotional attachment and imprinting: Dependence on someone emotionally, to a level that's toxic for both people.
• Using sex for something besides pleasure: Although some people can make a living from sex, unless you treat it as a sacred act each time (no matter what the sex is actually like), it can damage the chakra by rejecting the sacred energy behind intimacy with another person.
• Toxic relationships: Relationships that overwork the nurturer in you.
• Processed food, Preservatives, Food additives, Artificial foods: Toxic for all chakras.

Health Issues Associated to this Chakra:

• Malabsorption
• Digestive disorders
• Celiac's Disease
• Bladder tumors
• STDs/STIs
• Yeast infections, Bacterial infections of the genitalia
• Painful menstruation, menstrual issues
• Menopause disorders
• Miscarriages and some birth defects
• Sex drive/libido

Affects of an Overactive Sacral Chakra:

• Feeling a need to control the flow of life
• Ovarian cysts, heavier menstruation, pelvic pain
• Overthinking duality
• Dwelling too much into emotions
• Anxiety and dissociation
• Leading a dramatic life, getting too involved in drama
• Sex addiction, uncontrolled sex drive
• Unfulfilling orgasms
• Controlling or manipulating others
• Seeking to be the center of attention

Affects of an Underactive Sacral Chakra:

• Going with the flow too much, apathy to tasks that need to be completed
• Pelvic pain
• Thinking you can't change anything in your life, not wanting to take any control or responsibility
• Rejecting or not paying attention to emotions
• Dissociation and depression
• Never confronting people who are harming your emotional self
• Low libido for your natural state
• Unfulfilling orgasms
• Depression after sex
• Confusion
• Apathy towards changing or helping your own emotions (those which can be helped, of course). 
• Rejection of natural femininity or Yin energy

Ways of Healing This Chakra: 

Habitual Healing:

• Awareness of emotions: With each emotion, taking the time to get to intimately know what you're feeling. I highly recommend "Emotional Intimacy" by Robert Augustus Masters. 

One Time or Specific Method Healing:

• Color: Surround yourself with everything orange! Orange food, orange clothes, orange flowers, orange paintings, more orange! You'll be shocked at how aware of your sacral it makes you, and how quickly your root chakra heals as a result. 
• Crystal healing meditation: Using the crystals listed above and meditating while holding them or having them secured against your tailbone. 
• Yoga: Specific asanas for the sacral chakra include anything with hip opening and pelvic work.
• With the food you eat: Orange, fresh foods and fruits are great for this chakra. There's a list of great foods earlier in this post!
• Mantras and affirmations: Just say these as many times as you feel you need throughout the day, or for many days. 
• Chanting: Sing a long "VAM" sound, usually in repetition for a whole slow exhale (then a slow in breath). It's pronounced "Vah-m." Do it loud enough to feel it vibrate in your chest! Perhaps you feel it deep in your belly?

Mantras and Affirmations for the Sacral Chakra:

• "I honor my feminine side, it is a sacred part of me. It is full, functional, and complete."
• "I am able to let things go, knowing that I do not need to hold on to material objects and toxic relationships to feel complete."
• "I understand, love, and accept my sexual desires."
• "My emotions are able to be fully expressed in the healthiest way, and upon this expression, I can move past the source of any emotional pain."
• "There is a flow to the universe and a flow to my life, I graciously accept this."
• "I know my emotions are important, and I will take the time to feel each one." 

Image source here

Why it is so Important to Love the Sick Parts of Your Body

I don't think there's a person on this planet that isn't, at some time, plagued with at least a pesky ailment, illness, or disease. Our skin is frequently affected, like with warts, fungi, bacteria, eczema, acne, etc. We also get indigestion, sore throats, runny noses. Then there are a plethora of more severe illnesses that we can contract.

I've been fortunate enough to never have battled a life threatening illness, which is something I'm incredibly grateful for. But, since I am indeed human, I have had pesky ailments hit me at an alarming frequency. Over time, I've come to learn what ailments are associated with certain energy imbalances (I'll be sure to go through these more in depth in later posts); when the imbalance is severe enough, my body reacts by producing or becoming susceptible to an ailment. That's how my body (and it seems a lot of spiritual practitioner's bodies) work. Someone once said to me "When are you in a state of 'dis-ease,' or not at ease with yourself/your energy, it's more likely your body with have a disease."

For a couple years I've battled certain conditions which have really destroyed my psyche when it came to my body. I felt dirty and secretive about the shameful ways my body was susceptible to disease and illness. Although I was still strong and, fortunately, able-bodied, these conditions distressed me. I found myself ashamed of the sections of my body that were afflicted, and I was hesitant to even think about them for fear of giving the condition more powerful. I wanted to cut off my foot, tear away a toenail. (Literally, that would have hurt and caused a lot more damage, but my level of distress over even small ailments was severe enough that it made me wish these acts were possible). Most likely, not everyone is so distressed about small and harmless conditions, but I (and probably others) sometimes are.

It was only the other night, after doing a lot of work with my root chakra, that I realized it was harmful to be afraid of interacting with afflicted areas of my body (or even seeing them as something other than me--"the diseased skin", not "an afflicted patch of skin that's also me"). I was laying under my sheets, incredibly aware of the contact this area was making with my bed and feeling like it had poisoned that entire spot with infection. Of course, infection can travel through contact, but my fear was a little extreme in this moment.

I became aware of how I had not actually considered these affected areas to be a part of me. My body: me. They were the other, I was the untainted me. But I was wrong! These afflicted parts of my body were me as well. My body was saying "hey, pay attention, there's something in you that I'm showing you is wrong. You're not at ease!" Before this awakening, I wasn't thanking my body for sharing this information, I was pushing it away and harming me mental state and energy body more.

I've come to understand, after years of energy work, that almost all illness and disease has energetic and spiritual roots. (It has physical ones too, and everyone can catch illnesses, but there's also a reason why practices like Reiki have alone cured cancer). My root chakra has been really off lately, so of course my feet were afflicted with things. Thank you, body, for showing me that I really need to work through the emotion and physical consequences simultaneously.

I really learned that it was only harming me to reject the ill places of my body. We all struggle through different states of health, often we can't control what our bodies are afflicted with, but our mentality about these areas is something we most often have control over. When I focused intently on the sick areas of my body and told myself, internally, that they were me and a part of me I loved, something really changed. I felt calmer, more still and peaceful.