Some people I know personally are aware that I've been struggled through a lot of things that have come up from my past, which has triggered large amounts of pain. I've also been suffering a chronic pain condition, frustration at my medical care and how I'm not getting responses from my doctor, and severe fatigue that has been disabling.
I'm so grateful for my dedication to both my spiritual journey and my health, since this allowed me to design a routine incorporating what I really needed to do to keep myself together. I was depressed, in pain (physical and emotional) and dealing with some severe past trauma. I had been trying to work through it in the few and far between free moments last semester, but the time was tight and I was never able to be dedicated to it as much as I really needed.
This summer, I began to implement a routine of a hot bath, where I would read a book (since one of the things I had been craving was to enhance my knowledge on spiritual subjects and pick up the books I hadn't touched since buying them). Then, I'd do a short chakra meditation as the water drained, followed by 15-30 minutes of yoga, and 20 minutes of a Reiki self-treatment. I needed this to manage the pain. I trusted my inner guide when designing this routine.
The hot bath, yoga, and Reiki made the physical pain palatable...probably dropping it on a pain scale from an average of 7 to an average of 4. Yet, with chronic pain, it was still difficult to handle all of my emotions, frustrations, and fears from my past that would constantly arise.
I stayed with this routine, each day making time for 2 hours of healing. Sometimes I was reluctant, sometimes I wasn't all that focused, but I kept going. I knew I needed it, and I knew it would cause me so much pain to neglect the healing routine. I also knew this routine was healing me in a way deeper than just talking about my emotions or other forms of physical pain management; it was healing me from the inside out. I had been working for months to heal myself, but I needed a daily routine, and I could feel that. Some constant to build a foundation upon.
It's been right around three weeks of this routine. Over 40 hours of healing. And the effects are amazing. It started with, in the first week, glimpses of stillness and peace, maybe a little happiness. Now the passion for life I have is incredible. I have opened, I have grown in the most subtle and powerful ways.
There is now this spring of joy and compassion. A complete awareness and empathy to the earth and all the people I interact with. A love for walking outside, a craving to get out in nature. A sensitivity to energy that goes beyond what I even thought was possible. A totally free springing well of emotions, accepting each as it arises with as much compassion as I have in me.
Just yesterday, I was researching a newfound passion of aromatherapy and essential oils, trying to figure out which brand would work the best for myself and others. I did a lot of searching, and when I stumbled upon Native American Nutritionals' website, I got goosebumps. I teared up. I could vividly sense the purity in the energy of the oils, without even holding one in my hand. It was shocking and amazing, to feel such a sensitivity to something I was only interacting with through my computer. This alignment and sensitivity I think would be impossible for me if I hadn't been working so hard to keep with a daily routine that was slowly and deeply healing (and awakening) me.
It's been a journey, and it's taken dedication, but I just want to say to everyone that it is possible to heal. You don't have to spend 2 hours each day like me, you might be able to spend 10 minutes and have joyous results in 2 weeks. It's all about the routine and the understanding that you can dedicate time towards your healing. Time purely meant for you. Time meant for healing and evolution.
The space for healing is so important. It's this space, I believe, which begins to open an all consuming spring of joy.
I had my TL a little more than a year ago when my third child was born via c-section. I was not told ANYTHING about the possible side effects of having this procedure. Since then I have experienced heavy bleeding lasting sometimes 3 weeks out of the month, weight gain, severe mood swings. Severe cramping, changes to my libido, severe depression accompanied by suicidal thoughts, headaches, migraines, many new symptoms & older issues are now exacerbated. The father of two of my children doesn't want me anymore. I've become too much of a pain in the ass I guess. We don't talk. We don't sleep in the same bed. I think he might really think I am crazy... & maybe I am. I feel crazy a lot of the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm unpredictable. I feel so angry about the whole thing & now what was once a mild fear of doctors has exploded into full on white coat syndrome that causes me to have a panic attack/hypertensive emergency (severe increase in blood pressure) whenever I have to deal with them. I'm not sure what to do... I fear the next time I have to see a doctor I'll have a stroke or a heart attack from the stress & anxiety of it... what do I do? I take my time and keep searching on internet looking for natural healing that how I came across Dr Itua herbal center website and I was so excited when Dr Itua told me to calm down that he will help me with his natural remedy I put my hope on him so I purchase his herbal medicines which was shipped to my address I used it as prescribed guess what? I'm totally healed my cramp pain is gone completely I also used his Anti Bacteria herbal medicines it's works for me very well I want anyone with health problem to contact Dr Itua herbal center for any kind diseases remedies such as Parkinson, Herpes, ALS, MS, Diabetes, Hepatitis, Hiv/Aids,Cancers, Men & Women Infertility, I got his email address drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com he has any kind of herbal remedies for women & men also for our babes. I really miss my Hunni...he's a fantastic father & a good man. He doesn't deserve this. I feel like an empty shell of who I used to be.
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